Sunday, November 8, 2009

Karma in My Fairy Tale World

I received my "Fairy Tale Tarot" deck along with the companion book "Once upon a time" by Lisa Hunt a couple of weeks back and I have wanted to blog about it ever since. I have been reading Lisa's excellent blog for some time and was eagerly awaiting my very own fairy tale deck which would hardly be surprising considering my love for all things fairy.
The very first question I asked the deck was "What is the story of my life?" The answer was : "0. Red Riding Hood" (The Fool). It is at that instant I realized that this deck was mine. This answer deserves its very own post to explore all that the story and that card mean in my life. But can't help pointing that the Fool is my personality card (based on Angeles Arrien's Tarot Workbook) and also I own a red hoodie which I wear every single time I fly.

Today, early in morning India time, I asked the deck: What fairy tale story do I have to learn from today?
The answer: 11. The Goose Girl (Justice).

Like most fairy tales, justice is a strong theme in the story of the goose girl wherein the goose girl is betrayed by her maid on the way to marry her prince; forced into secrecy by her maid who takes her place but finally the truth is revealed at last.

As fairy tales focus on one karmic thread, it is easier for me to understand what is just. In my life as the karmic threads interweave, I have lived these individual story threads but need to meditate to see the emerging karmic patterns.

For today, the thing that leaps out at me from this particular fairy tale story is the secrecy part. While I am not sworn to secrecy, it is a secret because I simply cannot physically say it. But as in the story, there are ways to let the prince know. The hand of Karma is sometimes so strong in certain relationships that it makes you grasp. While I may not be able to perceive the pattern yet, I know it will emerge and it will be beautiful to look and even more beautiful when I understand.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Whale of a Dream

I woke up at 4:30 am on Monday. It was cold and I didn't want to be up yet. However, the comforter didn't seem comfortable either. I smoked some thought rings and watched them float. These thought rings are just that. They make my head spin just like it would in an amusement park; and then make me dizzy with pleasure followed by nausea. I dizzied myself to sleep.

I am on a sea shore. The weather isn't too sunny or too dull. Brij, DD, and Old Soul, and a woman with 2 children on lap (I did not recognize the woman or her children) are sitting on a bench. All of them have a completely neutral expression (maybe a hint of sad) on their faces. I come to the bench smiling and jokingly sit down between Brij and Old Soul. And then, we see the tail of this huge whale. Just glorious and magnificent. Whoosh Whoosh. And then the next moment, the whale is on the sandy beach. I look at her (no way to be sure). Her face looks cold. And then she swings her tail and hits our bench and we all fall into the water (The last part I know...I didn't see or feel the water) and I immediately (in the dream) think that these are emotional waters.

According to Jamie Sams and David Carson of the Medicine Cards, the whale is a record keeper and holds records and secrets as old as the earth itself. As I write this, the whale seems to be the keeper of the Native American equivalent of the Akashic records. When the whale comes to you, you are being asked to tap into these records, find your origins, and see your overall destiny. If your mind is so full of chatter clouds and you cannot access these records, then you might need to turn in to find your silence. In this silence, you must seek the Whale's song within you. And then who knows, you may connect to the very roots of history and maybe, just maybe, you may even connect to your own unique library of records.

I have always been ruled by my emotions. They mostly express joy but at times they are deep and dark. The Whale pushes me into my sea of emotions and reminds me that if I can relax and lose my chattering mind, I will not only survive the sea storms but also will dive deep into the understanding of the history of the earth and possibly, my own story.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Today, I talked to a Tree.

The card for today is EXPERIENCING (3 of Wands or Fire). This card has appeared a couple of times this week. So I listen. As I look out of the window, I see the synchronicity of this card with nature outside and as I look inside me, I see autumn there too. The colors of the fall are so pretty; the bronzes, the golds, the reds, the pinks, the oranges, and the yellows. The day seems just right for hiking so that is what we obey.

As I walked, I talked to myself and to the trees too. As tears rolled down my eyes, I asked the trees how they could they let go their pretty colorful leaves? Is it because they knew that fall must follow summer and if fall was here, one day spring would come too? Would this also be true in my life? Will I ever be so light and joyous again? At one point, I just ran and put my arms around an tree so enormous that it was comforting. My heart was pressed so tightly against the tree trunk: As it heard my heart beat, I heard its too. The tree told me that it doesn't think, it just does. When its pretty leaves can no longer bear the cold, they let go and become one with the earth. This earth then in turn replenishes the tree. In this way, the leaves continue to be a part of the tree. In the grand scheme of things, when you truly let go; you belong. But what of the pain, I ask? The tree replies that once you learn to let go of expectations, burdens, and illusions; you learn to let go of the pain too. I inhale deeply and as I exhale I begin the process of letting .....Sigh

By this time, I have relaxed my death grip on the tree. I thank my dear nature friend for its guidance. We have touched our souls and now its time to move on. Blessings to you, my dear tree. The tree smiles and blesses me too.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Clearing the Clouds

When life seems so complicated that I don't even know what to ask; ironically the best option is to ask the simplest (and most effective, imho) of questions. So,

Deck Deck on my writing desk
what does the universe want me to know right now?

Deck (aka the Universe): 2 of Air (2 of Swords) Schizophrenia

Ha, ask and you shall receive. Indeed. Thank you for hitting me with the obvious. This card has hazy nebulous clouds (not in this picture but in the corresponding card in the Osho Zen tarot deck ) that have clouded my judgement so much that I can't decide. A stalemate. My "no" nor my "yes" have any meaning because my "no" contains a teaspoon of "yes" and my "yes" contains a teaspoon of "no" stirred in it.
According to Osho, the way out of this lies not by playing mind games, or making a pro and con list, or letting your mind make more hazy clouds (the mind seems to excel at this cloud creating game) but in following your heart. What if you don't know what your heart wants, you ask (I hear, I hear). Then, says Osho, just jump and make a decision and then your heart will beat so fast that you shall know.

If we don't make a decision, our choices get worse. The clouds condense and freeze your heart or disperse and break your heart (3 of swords), this then leads to the slippery slope of procastination and we go deeper and deeper into more negative states. This path is so many hyperspace jumps away from the path of celebration and the path of totality.

May the universe bless me with the intuition to hear my heart and the strength to follow it!! May I have the decisiveness to use the two swords to kill the half "yeses" and half "no's"!! May I remember that my life is a dance of celebration not an awkward attempt to hold on to challenging situation!!